Comic quotes from coaches and footballers at Euro 2016

Fans could enjoy great football at Euro 2016, but they could also have fun with some of the funniest comments from coaches and footballers. Why they said such things is anyone’s guess; perhaps the extremely hot weather was to blame. These were the funniest comments of the tournament, ranked:

№13 – The English musician Noel Gallagher on Germany’s squad:

“Joachim Low has some world-class players in his squad – a forward like Muller, a goalkeeper like Neuer and there is Ozil, who is great, but when he wants to play.”

№12 – Gareth Bale, asked how many English players had the qualities to wear the Dragons’ shirt:

“None!”

№11 – Zlatan Ibrahimovic in an interview before Sweden’s first group game:

“I feel that Paris already misses me. It’s been raining since I left. Now I’m back and there is sunshine again.”

№10 – Andre Schurrle on the diet the German players had to follow:

“They don’t give us chips and coke! They give us only sausages and cheese, but without fats!”

№9 – Adil Rami on his nerves before France’s first game:

“I thought my hair was going to fall off! I was very constrained before the first game.”

№8 – The Guardian on Ronaldo’s arrogant behaviour:

“We would recommend Ronaldo to look in the mirror… Oh wait, he already spends a few hours a day in front of it…”

№7 – Roy Hodgson, the oldest coach at Euro 2016:

“I feel I am younger than ever, until I go near a mirror.”

№6 – Oliver Bierhoff on the Netherlands’ failure to qualify:

“I feel the lack of the Dutchmen! The reason is that we always beat them!”

№5 – Vladimir Petkovic on life with his beloved wife Lilyana:

“We share the household chores. She does everything – I do the rest.”

№4 – Zlatan on Chiellini, ahead of the match between Sweden and Italy:

“If there had been something between us – he would have already been hospitalised.”

№3 – Mesut Ozil after the match between Germany and Poland:

“They were playing with 20 men in defence! It’s normal to be laboured against such a team.”

№2 – Lukas Podolski, defending his head coach Joachim Low:

“I am scratching my balls and I am sure that 80% of you are scratching your balls!”

And the big winner, №1 – the Swiss international Xherdan Shaqiri, after seven Swiss shirts were torn against France:

“I hope Puma won’t start producing condoms.”

Euro 2016 in brief

The tournament in France, played from 10 June to 10 July 2016, was the first European Championship with 24 teams, up from the 16 used since 1996. Several of the men quoted above had short stays. England, managed by Roy Hodgson, were beaten 2-1 by Iceland in the round of 16 in Nice on 27 June 2016. Wayne Rooney's early penalty was cancelled out by goals from Ragnar Sigurdsson and Kolbeinn Sigthorsson, and Hodgson resigned at the post-match press conference.

Switzerland also went out in the round of 16, beaten 5-4 on penalties by Poland after a 1-1 draw, with Granit Xhaka's kick the only miss of the shootout. Germany, the team of Ozil, Podolski and Schurrle, knocked out Italy 6-5 on penalties after a 1-1 draw in the quarter-finals.

The story behind the Shaqiri quote

Shaqiri's joke followed Switzerland's 0-0 draw with France in Lille, during which several Swiss shirts were ripped. Puma apologised to the Swiss federation, blaming a faulty batch of material in which the yarn had been damaged during production, and said that its other teams at the tournament had reported no such problems.

How the tournament ended

Portugal won the final against France 1-0 after extra time at the Stade de France on 10 July 2016. Cristiano Ronaldo was injured early in the match and had to go off, and Eder scored the winner in the 109th minute with a low shot from outside the area. Antoine Griezmann finished as the top scorer with six goals and was named player of the tournament.