The Beauty: Ms. Gemma Atkinson is famous. For what? I don’t know. Let’s see. She’s worked as a lingerie model and men’s mag centerfold (so she’s comfortable wearing next to nothing). She’s been a “TV personality” (aka reality star). She’s also plied her trade as an actress on soap opera programs like Hollyoaks. She’s been in a few feature films, but nothing big yet. So, why is she famous? Oh yeah, Gemma has worked out more soccer stars than Man U’s team trainer.  

The Beast: Gemma’s pics indicate that she doesn’t eat too much. Well, food anyways. She devours Premier League stars though. First she nailed striker Marcus Bent. Then she moved on to Newcastle’s Alan Smith. Finally, she completed the rare WAG treble when she fooled around with Portugal’s golden (let’s hope not showers) boy, Cristiano Ronaldo while he was with Man U. She said she would “miss” C-Ron when he moved to Spain, but wished him luck.

The Bard: Gemma deserves a pure poetic gem, but all I can proffer are rough rhymes:

Some WAGs are as delicate as butterflies, but Gemma Atkinson stings like a bee.

That’s likely because she exudes confidence due to her bust size of 34 E.

But in addition to her rack, she can also act, appearing in a revival of Peter Pan.

She played the title character, which means she’s also been the world’s sexiest man.

She’s dated several stars, but she’s found no heroes, only Captain Hooks.

I bet she will marry a soccer star one day though, how could she not with such looks?

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